Taichou Chibified
by GrimmjowXEspada
Summary: All of the taichou in Seireiti get turned into chibis by an accident. All sorts of crazy things start to happen. Slowly at first, Seireiti is plunged into chaos. [Occasional pairings. Some yaoi but mostly all of them are straight.][[CRACK!]]
1. What Just Happened?

"Kurotsuchi-taichou! Something's gone wrong and now-"

Akon was cut off by a loud explosion and a sudden burst of light. The light engulfed the entire Seireiti before disappearing as fast as it had appeared.

"Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou! What happened to him?!" He pointed at the cute little kid in Nemu's arms. It looked like... No it was, Kurotsuchi-taichou. Akon stared at the chibi-fied Mayuri, he was missing his usual mask and make-up. Kurotsuchi Mayuri's natural blue hair and golden eyes weren't hidden. He most deffinately wasn't happy... Wasn't happy at all.

"What the Hell happened to me you stupid teme?!" Mayuri squeaked and pointed up at Nemu.

"It seems there was a malfunction in the experiment and-" She stopped to laugh at the angry little kid in her arms.

"What the fuck do you think is so damn funny?!" He punched and kicked, yet she just kept laughing.

"It seems we'll have to work on your mouth abit..." Akon walked up and poked him in the forehead. He looked at Nemu and smiled, this was going to be fun.

"Do you think this might have happened to the other taichou?"

"Perhaps we should go check... Who do we leave in charge if he's going to be like_ this_?" He pointed at Mayuri only to get his finger bitten. _Little brat had better be glad that I don't just... _A million horrible torture ideas flew through his head at once and he picked one... For a 'just in case.'

"I'm still in charge you idiotic whores!" Kurotsuchi starting flailing about some more and they both laughed.

"If you don't mind, I'll leave him here with you and go get the reports from everyone else." Nemu put the chibi-fied Mayuri down and left.

------

"Yay! Ken-chan!" Yachiru sat there and chewed the spikes of hair on the little chibi Kenpachi's head.

"Yachiru-chan, I'm guessing its the same over here?" Nemu approached the two little kids most uncertain of whether to stay and laugh or just turn around and leave.

"Hi! Nemu-chan! Wanna come play with us?" Yachiru stopped what she was doing and grinned at the fellow fukutaichou.

"No... I'm afraid I must decline." She turned around and started towards the next division.

-------

"Aww!! He's even shorter now!" Matsumoto bent down and picked up the smaller, rounder Hitsugaya.

"Whitey-chan!! It's too kawaii!! Can I hold him?" Hinamori hugged Toushirou after Rangiku handed him over.

"Hinamori-san, Matsumoto-san, I'm assuming its the same here as well?" Nemu walked over to them and saw the chibi-fied Hitsugaya-taichou.

"Isn't he so kawaii, Kurotsuchi-san?" Momo held him out for her.

"Yes, very." She nodded her head, then turned and left the office.

On her way down the hall Nemu heard Toushirou yell something about 'not calling him kawaii' and she couldn't help but laugh a little.

-------

"Oi, Nemu-san!" Shuuhei ran up to her as she was passing through his division.

"Hello Hisagi-san."

"What're you doing?" He was curious because she hardly passed through without being in a hurry.

"I'm gathering reports from our fellow fukutaichou about their taichou." At this statement he raised an eyebrow and gave her a questioning look, but didn't say anything. He continued walked alongside her out of the division.

---------

"Stop poking me!" Nanao yelled at the two little kids running around her.

"This is fun!" The little Ukitake stopped running to poke her again.

"I said sto-" She was interrupted by Hisagi's outburst of laughter as they entered the room.

"So this is what Nemu-san meant!" He stopped laughing and bent down to pick up Ukitake. "I'll take him off your hands, considering they're already full with Kyouraku-taichou." Shuuhei winked and led Nemu back out of the office.

"He's kinda cute." He poked the chibi Jyuushirou which started laughing. "I bet Kira wouldn't mind taking care of him..."

-------

"What the Hell am I going to do with this?" Iba sat down and let the Komamura puppy onto his lap. The puppy hiked, peeing on his shihakushou. Suddenly, Sajin's ears perked and he ran to investigate who was at the door.

"Oi! Iba! Do wanna keep him?" Hisagi handed Ukitake over to Nemu and picked up the puppy.

"Nah. Take him if ya want, I don't care. The little shit peed on me anyway." Iba shrugged as Shuuhei and Nemu left.

---------

"GET OFF OF MY HEAD!!!" Renji tried to pry Byakuya off but he wouldn't budge.

"Nuh uh. I don't wanna." The little kid sat there with his arms crossed.

"What do you want to stay up there for?"

"Because, your hair's soft and it smells nice."

"Err... If I take my hair down will you like sit on my shoulder or something?"

"Uh... Okay!" Byakuya reached back and pulled at Renji's hair tie, letting the hair loose. He slid down onto the red-head's shoulder and looked at the report he was working on.

"What're doing?"

"Aw! That's so cute! Renji, I didn't know you were so good with kids!" Nemu said as she walked into the office. Kurotsuchi sat the chibi Ukitake on Renji's desk. Jyuushirou looked around and saw Kuchiki then started to laugh. He got up and stood tip-toe, poking the other chibi.

"Make him stop! Make him stop!"

--------

"Weeeee!" The little Unohana-taichou flew by on her chibi Minazuki. "No! You could get hurt!" Isane and Hanatarou came running by trying to catch her.

----------

"Oi Kira! We brought you something!" Shuuhei and Kurotsuchi approached the sanban-tai fukutaichou's desk.

"Nani?" Iduru looked up too see his friends holding a puppy and a little kid. One looked oddly enough like Ukitake-taichou and somehow the other... Komamura-taichou?

"Here, take this one... He's funnier." Nemu handed Jyuushirou over to him. The chibi looked at Kira and grinned.

"Ohayo, Kira-kun! Are you supposed to be the one who plays with me?"

"Yes, I believe I am."


	2. The Capturing Of Aizen

"What's happening?! The sensors are going berserk!" Grantz ran over to examine the screen. Something wasn't right...

"Apparently there's been an explosion in the Soul Society. It seems that-" He stared at the screen, the photos of the damage had started popping up. This was entirely insane! They couldn't possibly have turned the taichous into little kids! It didn't sound right, no not at all.

"Really now?" Ichimaru and Aizen approached the screen, both ignoring his loss of words. Sosuke was very pleased by what he saw... Very pleased indeed. Their defenses were weakened and no one now could stand up to him. There was no one of true power that hadn't been affected.

"Ulquiorra! Gin! Come with me, we're going to pay them a visit."

------------

"Come on Momo! Hurry!" Hitsugaya started running out of the office where Hinamori-fukutaichou had brought him.

"Whitey-chan! Chotto matte!"

-----------

"Charge!" The little kid Byakuya pointed toward the north.

"What the Hell do you think I am anyway?!"

"You're Renji, duh. Now keep running!"

"Isai-san! Hinamori-kun! Renji-kun!" Iduru ran after them holding onto the little kid in his arms. Jyuushirou, Byakuya, and Toushirou were all pointing, while Sajin ran in the same direction.

"Do you know what they want?"

"Hell if I know! I guess we're fixin' to-"

"STOP!!!" The chibis yelled (and barked)! Everyone stopped and looked up at the sky. There was suddenly a huge rip, three figures popped out... Two were extrodinarily small.

"Atta-" Aizen's eyes widened in horror as he realized what had happened to him when he stepped through. He looked over and saw that Ichimaru had also turned chibi.

"SUCKERS!!!!" Hitsugaya pointed his finger at Sosuke and started laughing an evil chibi laugh.

Everyone would've started laughing, had there not been two twin fangirlish squeals of 'Taichou!' and the sudden 'No your not supposed to touch that!'As Iduru ran after Gin, for whom, was already reeking havoc.

------

"Ulquiorra, could you please help us with something?" Ukitake and Hitsugaya put on their best puppy-dog eyes. Ulquiorra looked down at them and sighed. _Why do they have to be so damn kawaii? _

"Yes... What do you need help with?"

"You traitor!!! You're supposed to be helping me!"

"Could you please tie him to this stick?" Toushirou pointed at Aizen while Jyuushirou pulled out a stick and some rope and handed them to him. Schiffer took the items and grabbed Sosuke, making quick work of tying him.

"Like this?" He his work out for them to see. Suddenly, Kyouraku showed up and swiped Aizen from Ulquiorra. Ukitake, Hitsugaya, and everyone else followed.

"ARIGATOU!!!"

------

They put Aizen over the fire and started turning him. Toushirou put on this funny indian feather hat and started dancing around the fire with a stick making outlandish noises.

"Whitey-chan! How could you do that to Aizen-taichou?!" Momo attempted to save him, but Hitsugaya and Shunsui jabbed her with their "spears". All the while, Matsumoto and many others sat there laughing in the background.

"Oi! What the fuck do you think you're doing back up there?"

"They're scaring me! And I don't wanna be down there because of _that_!" Kuchiki pointed at Yachiru who was jumping up and down trying to get high enough reach him.

"Come on! Eat the candy!"

"NEVER!!!"

Kusajishi jumped up and shoved the sweets into his mouth. Byakuya's cheeks puffed up full of food and his face started turning green.

"Taichou!" Renji started to panic and pulling the little kid off of his head and smacking it on the back. When Kuchiki-taichou finally spit it out, he slipped into Abarai's gi. He popped his head out just long enough to stick his tongue out and give her the bird.

------

"Whatcha eatin'?" Gin jumped into the middle of Kira's soup, splashing it everywhere. He then stood up and gave Iduru a big soup-covered hug.

"Nothing now, Taichou." Kira-fukutaichou started trying to clean everything up only to be thwarted by Ichimaru running his dirty hands across the surface of the walls.

"Please be still!"

"Aww! Why's Iduru not happy?" Gin made an extremely pouty face that his ex-fukutaichou couldn't resist.

"It's not that I'm not _happy_... It's just that I'm tired and not really in the mood for this."

"Why?"

-------


	3. What Do You Keep In Those?

"TAG! YOU'RE IT!" Soi Fong ran up and stabbed Momo with her Suzume Bachi.

"Ow! What was that-"

The chibi-fied taichou had it already moved on to her victim. Constantly "tagging" the fukutaichou and anyone else who had gathered. She covered most everyone in the butterfly markings left by her zanpaku-tou.

"Weee! Pretty butterflies!"

---------

"Why?"

"Because I've had too much paperwork lately."

"Why?"

"Because you've been gone."

"Why?"

"WOULD YOU STOP ASKING ME THAT?!" Kira finally snapped. He'd spent more than 15 minutes answering the same question over and over again. It was slowly driving him insane. Ichimaru started pouting.

"Gomen na, Iduru... I didn't realize it was so horrible of me."

The fukutaichou looked at the little kid infront of him and almost started crying. It was so pitiful he couldn't stand it. He picked Gin up and hugged him.

"It's okay."

"Really? You're not mad?"

"No."

"Yay!" The chibi jumped out of his arms and started running around poking things. Suddenly, he found a glass vase with a beta in it... Just in his reach.

"Fishy!"

"No! Don't touch that!"

---------

"What the fuck is going on out there?" Kurotsuchi Mayuri was not a happy chibi, not happy at all. He was stuck in the Technology Bureau with Akon and Nemu while everyone else was out examining the situation. There was something special going on, but he had no idea what.

"Oh... They're just roasting Aizen over a fire."

"THEY'RE WHAT?!"

---------

"Dude! What the Hell do have in those shittin' sleeves of your's anyway?" Kenpachi was very curious as too what Ukitake had up his kimono. After all, he'd already pulled out a stick, some rope, a thing of matches, and a seemingly endless supply of candy.

"Yeah! We wanna know!" Retsu yelled from her perch atop Minazuki.

"Okay! Let's see..." Jyuushirou started pulling things out of sleeves, leaving Aizen to be forgotten over the fire by everyone. He managed every Christmas present he'd gotten in the past 500+ years. Then a couch, two fat kittens, five books of who knows what, and a sock soon came out of the right. He peered into the sleeve then suddenly grinned.

"Ohayo, Grimm-chan!"

Suddenly a head popped out to be followed by an arm, and soon enough, the rest of the body.

"Goddamn it! I was just about to win too!"

Grimmjow bent down and picked the chibi up. Ukitake just grinned, waved, and coughed.

"Oi! What in the world is this?" He shook the little kid, making it cough more then suddenly start giggling. He eyed it suspiciously then set it back down on the ground. The arrancar looked around spotting Sosuke almost immediately. Falling over in his laughter, Jaggerjack almost crushed Kyouraku and Hitsugaya.

"I see you find this funny... Interesting."

"What the fuck do you want dick head?"

"I believe we've discussed what you may and may not call me."

"Right... Like I'm seriously gonna be scared of you! That'll be the day!"

Ulquiorra stepped up to the now standing Grimmjow and put a hand on his shoulder. The cocky smirk left the other's face as they suddenly disappeared.

"What do think just happened?" Shunsui looked over at Toushirou who shrugged.

"Who kno-"

"Mine! Get out!" Came the sudden cry from inside Abarai's top. The odd little lump, known as Kuchiki-taichou, suddenly started moving. Everyone just stared at Renji who gave them a look of 'I don't know what the Hell is going on'. Soon the gazes shifted around the area as the squeals continued. All eyes on Ukitake who had a hand back in his sleeve doing something.

"Make him stop! Make him stop!" Byakuya whined and made some funny squeaky noises from inside his hiding place. Jyuushirou pulled his hand out and grinned evily.

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	4. I Didn't Do Anything

"Grr. I'm a kitty!" Soi Fong pounced Gin, taking the beta into her mouth and running off. Ichimaru starting crying because, after all, he didn't even get to torture the fish first. This most certainly wasn't Kira's day. He went over and picked up the crying little chibi, patting it on the back, trying to comfort it.

"It's okay... We can just go get a new one."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'll even let you pick it out." The small kid stopped crying and pulled himself onto the fukutaichou's shoulder. He wrapped his arm's around the blonde's neck and squeezed.

"Yay! Iduru's always so nice!"

-------------

"He's evil! EEEVVIL!! Keep him away from me!" Byakuya popped out of Renji's gi and pointed at Jyuushirou. Ukitake stopped grinning and tried to look as innocent as possible.

"But I didn't do anything..."

"Liar! You did too do something!"

"You can't prove that he did anything!" The chibi-fied Shunsui stepped up to defend his friend. Kuchiki looked up at Abarai who just shrugged.

"You're supposed to help me!"

"How the Hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Fine. You're no help." Little Byakuya glared up at Renji and then looked back at the other two chibis. He slowly raised both hands and sure enough, both middle fingers.

"Look! It's two for the price of one!"

Everyone's eyes widened as they stared at the rokuban-tai taichou. Soon the gazes shifted up towards Renji.

"What're you all staring at me for?! I didn't do nothin'!"

Matsumoto stepped forward and raised an eyebrow.

"Kuchiki-taichou, who did you learn that from?"

"Renji. He did it one day when he got angry at you." He pointed at Abarai who just blushed and looked away.

"He certainly is a bad influence, isn't he?"

"Why yes. Yes he is."

--------------

"What happened to me?!" Yoruichi squeaked as she entered the Seireiti. This was all very, very wrong.

"Yoruichi-sama!!!" She tossed the beta over at the other chibi. Yoruichi stared at it for a long time before finally eating it. She meowed and Soi Fong glomped her.

"Yay! Yoruichi-sama's a kitty!"

-------------

"Oi! Aren't you all forgetting someone over here?!" Aizen yelled from his spot over the mini-fire. Everyone looked over at him and blinked.

"Who're we forgetting?" Hitsugaya asked, a big evil grin playing on his face. He walked over and kicked one of the props holding Sosuke's stick up, almost knocking him into the fire.

"Aizen-taichou!! Whitey-chan, that's horrible!" Momo ran over and picked up the little Toushirou. Sitting him down a little ways in the distance, she ran back to go save Aizen.

"Arigatou, Hinamori-kun. You are my only good, true minion."

-------------

"Weee!!!" Unohana-taichou flew by again with a big grin on her face.

"Guess who's here!!"

"Who?" Nanao looked up from where she was sitting Hisagi and the Sajin puppy.

"Yoruichi! Yoruichi!" Retsu squealed as she flew away into the distance.

-------------

"Niisama!" Rukia ran up to Renji and stared wide-eyed at the cuteness before her.

"Can I hold him? Please!!!"

"Uh... Okay." Abarai tried to pry the little Kuchiki off of his shoulder. The chibi held fast, refusing to move.

"Nuu!!! Stop Eeeet! I don't wanna move!"

"Err... Gomen... I don't think he's moving."

"Aw! That's okay. He's so kawaii! What happened?"

"I have no friggin' idea."

--------------


	5. It Happened To You Too?

"Dammit! Lemme go!" Kurotsuchi started squirming. He was trapped by two somewhat vengeful subordinates, both for which were grinning. Mayuri had given them Hell, so why couldn't they give it back?

"Oi, Nemu... What's he always threatening to do to you?"

"Disassemble me."

"Right... So, what's his greatest weakness?"

"I don't know about his _greatest_ but I do know about-"

"NOOOOOO!!! Don't tell him THAT!"

-------------

"Yay! Fishy! I wanna call him Pochi-chan!" Gin held the container infront of his face and smiled. The fish was already terrified, he could tell.

"Just make sure not to drop him."

"Huh? Don't do what?" The little kid looked over at Kira, dropping the beta. The blonde reached out, barely catching it.

"I told you not to drop it!"

"Oooh! Gomen na, Iduru. I'll pay a bit more attention next time!"

--------------

"Looky, looky! I've got a kittie!" Soi Fong approached the group holding a little black kitten in her arms and a some clothing in her hands. Yoruichi opened one of her neko eyes, looking about the area.

"Can I hold her?" Rukia asked, turning away from her Niisama and Renji.

"NO! My kitty!" The little kid puffed up her cheeks and turned around.

Yoruichi jumped out of her arms and ran over to Hisagi. He put Komamura down next to her. They sniffed each other for a moment then Shihouin started rubbing up against the puppy.

"My doggy."

--------------

"Tousen-sama, are you sure you do not wish to join them? Aizen-sama _desperately_ needs your help."

"If it is necessary for justice than I shall go." The dark man turned his head in the direction of the voices and stood. Walking towards where he knew the door was, stopped, waiting for them to follow.

"I expect you both will be coming along. Unless of course, this is a trick?"

"Oh no! Nothing of the sort! _We swear_!"

--------------

"Oi! Renji! Where the Hell is every-" The orange haired substitute shinigami's eyes bugged as he saw the situation. He put down what he was carrying and ran over to the group.

"Shit! So it happened to you all too!" Kurosaki pointed at all the chibis and many fukutaichou's raised their eyebrows.

"Too? What the fuck're you-"

"Ohayo, Freeloader-san!" A little kid sporting a funny hat popped out from behind Ichigo. The chibi-fied Urahara waved his fan and ran over to where Yoruichi and Sajin were.

"Yoruichi-san!"

"Hi, Urahara-san! Long time no see!" Ukitake walked over to them and suddenly, they all started smiling evil smiles of doom.

"Ukitake-san! Got anything good on anyone this time?" Kisuke nudged Jyuushirou with his elbow and winked.

"Well... Maybe I do have a little something on a few people."

"Got anything on him?" The kitten nodded her head in Kurosaki's direction. Ukitake shook his head in reply.

"Then let me help you get somethin'!" Shihouin ran over to the teenager and looked up at him. She transformed and glomped him.

"Gerroff!" Ichigo's face flushed a nice red and everyone started laughing. He tried to remove the naked little kid, but she wasn't moving.

"Yoruichi-sama!" Soi Fong threw the clothing at the former taichou.

"Soi Fong, you're no fun anymore."

---------------


	6. You're Lying

"Renji, why does he call you 'Freeloader-san'?" Byakuya whispered in Renji's ear. Abarai thought for a moment then shrugged his shoulders, almost knocking Kuchiki off.

"I... Uh... I dunno Taichou."

"You're lying."

"Am not!"

"Then why are you being so defensive about it?" The little kid crossed his arms and frowned. Kisuke jumped up and latched onto part of the fukutaichou's sleeve.

"You wanna know?" He grinned really hard and laughed, scaring the little Byakuya. The chibi-fied rokuban-tai taichou scooted closer to Renji's head, trying to get away from the other one who was climbing upward.

"Err... T-taichou, you really don't wanna know."

"Yes I do!"

Urahara made his way up and whispered something in Kuchiki's ear making him gasp. Kisuke grinned evily before jumping off and running toward's the other chibis.

"Renji!! How could you?!"

"T-t-taichou... I can explain-"

"If you really needed a place to stay then you coulda just asked! You don't have to mooch off of him!"

"Taichou... I can't just go around asking you for things!"

"Why not?! Apparently you can ask him, so why not me?!"

"Uh... Well, it's..."

"It's what?! I-I thought that if you needed anything you might actually..." Byakuya was pouting and almost started crying. He bit down on his lower lip and jumped off of Renji's shoulder, running away. The fukutaichou took off after him, leaving the group to wonder just what it was all REALLY about.

--------------

"The fishy looks pretty like that!" Ichimaru sat there and admired the little beta as it explored it's new home in the old beta-bowl. He turned around and looked at Kira, who happened to be the person holding him in his lap.

"Do you have any of those hot-dog thingies?"

"You mean the weinies? Yes, I have some... Why?"

"I wanna take 'em so we can roast them over a fire and eat with everybody!"

"Alright. That sounds like fun." The blonde smiled, setting the little kid on the ground, he got up and started towards the mini-fridge.

"I suppose we should start loading this then?" The chibi bounced up happily and ran over to him.

"Yep!"

--------------

"Goddamn faggots." Kenpachi growled from the spot he was sitting at. He shook his head disapprovingly.

"Shoulda known after I caught 'em..."

"Finish your sentence Zaraki! We wanna know what you mean!" Toushirou and the rest of the chibis stopped what they were doing to look at him. The little kid raised his thin-line-of-an-eyebrow and stared at the others.

"Why the Hell are you so interested? It's enough to gross the shit out of most people."

"You might have like, the best black-mail ever. Duh."

"Black-mail? I never thought of it that way... I'm deffinately not tellin' yall now!"

-------------

"Yes! We friggin' fooled him into it!" Grimmjow raised his hand trying to get Ulquiorra to 'high five' it. Ulquiorra just smirked slightly and picked up the now chibi-fied Tousen.

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	7. Are You Roasting Weinies?

"We brought weinies!!!" Gin bounced over to the group that was huddled around Kenpachi, making them turn around. Kira walked over to the fire pit and sat the mini-fridge down next to it.

"Can someone help me carry the sticks over here?"

"I CAN!!!"

------------

"I think they have forgotten us, haven't they?" The little Aizen looked up at Hinamori who meerly nodded.

"That's what I thought."

------------

"Oh my God, dude! You lost your weiny!" Ichigo fell over laughing as he pointed at Hisagi, who's weiny had slid right off of the stick and into the fire.

"Dude, it's not funny! That was probably a good tasting one, too!"

"Oh man... What did that funny English magazine we got Akon to translate for us say?"

"It's all fun and games until someone loses a weiner!!" Hitsugaya yelled as he ran over and kicked Aizen. Sosuke dropped his entire stick in the fire while trying not to fall over.

"What was that for?!"

"I don't like you."

------------

"Wheee!!"

"Nooo!!! Unohana-taichou! Don't fly over there, it's dangerous!" Hanatarou ran after Retsu, falling into the fire as he tried to catch her. Yamada got up almost automatically and started chasing her again. The yonban-tai taichou swooped down and stole Zaraki's hot-dog, leaving him to yell and shoot naughty hand signs in her direction as she flew.

-----------

"Oi! We brought an offering!" Jaggerjack pointed to the chibi that Schiffer was holding up. He started laughing as Kaname tried to kick Ulquiorra's arm and wound up being shaken around.

"Nuh uh. I can tell this ain't for justice. I refuse to be your offering, make them one instead." The little kid pointed in some unknown direction. Everyone laughed at the fact that he wasn't pointing at anyone, or anything for that matter. Only a long dark passageway to who-know's-where.

"Oh dude! Are all roasting weinies by any chance?"

"Duh, dumbass. Here." Kurosaki threw a stick and one of the packages of hot-dogs at the blue-headed arrancar. Grimmjow stepped over and plopped down next to him. Jyuushirou walked over to him and sat in his lap.

"Hi Grimm-chan!"

"What the fuck do think you're doing sitting there?!"

"But I wanna keep you company!" The little kid looked up and smiled. Everyone started laughing as the sexta espada tried to hold an angry face for more than five seconds and was unsuccessful.

"Fine. Just don't get in my way."

"Okay!"

Ulquiorra and Ichigo exchanged thoughts in each other's ears. They both smiled and nodded before speaking in unison.

"Awww! How cute, you have an admirer Grimm-chan!"

The arrancar just pulled his hot-dog off and chuncked the stick at them. He successfully hit the orange-haired one right smack in the middle of his forehead.

"Dude! What the Hell was that for?!"

"Don't play dumb with me! I know you know what that was for!"

------------


	8. Misunderstanding

"Look! The fags are back!" Zaraki yelled, pointing at the figure in the distance. The red-haired fukutaichou approached the group with his taichou back on his shoulder.

"What the fuck are you doing callin' us fags, you Goddamned midget?!" Renji reached out to flick the jingly taichou when it bit his hand.

"Dude! Let go of me!" Abarai shook his hand until Kenpachi went flying off. He stomped over to the group, grabbed a package of weinies and a couple of sticks.

"What was he talking about?"

"Oooh... I dunno. Sounds to me like you two have something going on." Hitsugaya smirked and laughed his evil chibi laugh.

"What are you talking about?!"

"I caught you two..." The little kid walked over to the fukutaichou pointing his finger.

"You caught us what? Kenpachi-taichou, you aren't making any sense."

"Don't play dumb with me! I know what you were doing in your office three days ago!"

"What were we doing?!" Both the rokuban-tai taichou and his fukutaichou were extremely confused. Neither one could figure out just what in the world he was talking about until...

"Oh that! You thought I was... Oh my God..." Renji's face was the same color as his hair as he tried to imagine just how the situation might have looked from behind.

"What Renji? I still don't understand!"

"Taichou... Do you remember that day when I knocked some of your paperwork off your desk?"

"Yep. But what about it?"

"Do you remember how, when I had to get down on my knees to pick it up... How close my head was to..." His voice kept trailing off, he was so embarrassed. The whole thing had been completely blown out of hand. A complete misunderstanding, nothing more.

"I heard you groan! And I watched you move your head back into a silent scream! I saw it all!" Kenpachi pointed his fingers at the two, yelling out what he had witnessed.

"That was a sigh you baka!" The chibi-fied Byakuya, upon realizing just what Zaraki meant, became really pissed. He'd never do such a thing in the office! Never!

"If it was a sigh, then how come I couldn't hear it?!"

"You weren't even in the doorway! How could you hear something all the way across the office?!"

----------

"Wheee!!!!"

"I don't think we'll be coming to work tomorrow... Do you?"

"No. I do believe we'll have to buy Rin more candy though."

"True." They both sat there watching Kurotsuchi-taichou destroy everything. In a couple of hours, there'd be nothing to come back to work to.

----------

"So what were you doing?" Kurosaki whispered into Abarai's ear, trying to get the real story.

"I'd knocked a stack of forms off of Taichou's desk and had bent down to pick them up. I was grumbling about the whole thing... I think that's what he thought was a 'groan'." They both shrugged their shoulders and watched as the chibis continued to argue. It was actually really funny to see the stoic Kuchiki be yelling at Kenpachi, putting his fist to his face and all.

----------

"What're they arguing about?" Ukitake looked up at Jaggerjack who meerly frowned.

"I have no idea. Sounds pretty stupid though."

"Yep. You wanna go get some tea?"

"Sure." Grimmjow poked the little one and it started laughing. He picked the chibi-fied Jyuushirou up and started to walk off.

----------

"You wanna see Tousen-sama?" Ulquiorra blinked then put the little kid down for the puppy to smell.

"Owwwww!!!!!" Kaname jumped into the air as Sajin bit him in the butt. Ulquiorra fell over trying to surpress the laughter as Tousen started running around trying to get Komamura to let go.

----------


	9. Tea And Weinies

"Die mother-fucker die!!!"

"It's amazing the songs he finds when he's bored."

"Yeah. Who woulda known Americans listened to such angry music." They both watched has Mayuri attempted to beat the last computer with one of the experimental herring. As soon as this was done, they were in for a long vacation.

---------

"Come on Niisama!"

"No! Ken-chan's gonna win!"

"No Niisama's gonna win!"

"No Ken-chan!"

"No Niisama!"

"Ken-chan!"

"Niisa-" Yachiru shoved a pork bun into Rukia's mouth.

"See! We win!"

---------

"Hi Grimmy! Did you bring any tea for me too?" Gin bounced over to the approaching arrancar and grinned.

"No. Now get away from me."

"Aww! But why Grimmy?" The little Ichimaru jumped onto his shoulder next to Ukitake. Chibi Jyuushirou just frowned and pushed him off, sticking his tongue out.

"No! My Grimm-chan!"

"GrimmGrimm, it looks like he's taken a liking to you."

"Why you call him GrimmGrimm?"

"Because I know he doesn't like it."

"Oh." Ulquiorra patted the little kid on the head and smiled slightly. He took a cup of tea from Grimmjow's hand and turned around to walk off.

---------

"Looks like the fight's over. Wanna go ahead and roast your weinies now? I'm sure Byakuya'll want some."

"Yeah, probably." Both red-heads sat down, picking up their sticks and putting them by the fire so the weinies'll roast.

---------

"Mmmm... These weinies are good."

"Jeeez! How many can you eat in four seconds, Taichou?!"

"A lot. Could you roast me another one?"

"Yeah sure, give me a second."

"Can I eat yours while I'm waiting?"

"But it's already half-way gone!"

"Yeah, so? It wouldn't be the first time."

"Fine." Renji handed Byakuya his half-eaten weiner and went about putting a new one on the stick. Kuchiki munched away happily, watching the other one roast.

---------

"I know of something we could do!"

"Nani?" Jaggerjack finished his tea and looked down at Ukitake. The little one grinned and waved.

"We could go around quoting 'Pinky and the Brain'! And Singing the theme song and stuff!"

"Eeeh?"

"Surely you've seen it in Las Noches!"

"You mean Lost Nachoes?" Grimmjow started laughing and Jyuushirou tilted his head in confusement. He wasn't getting the joke.

"Why you call it that?"

"Oh, one day Halibel lost the nachoes she was having for lunch."

"That's mean."

"Yeah and?"

"It's kinda funny too!" Ukitake started laughing and fell over, dropping his empty sippy cup. The blue-haired arrancar grinned.

---------


	10. Anyone Want Something To Drink?

-1"Where the Hell's a damn bush? I need to take a whiz!"Kenpachi looked around, short body turning in circles.

Without looking up, everyone pointed toward the west except for Tousen. Pointing to the north (at the fire!) puppy still attached, he continued running around.

"That's a good idea… Wouln't want to be startin' any forest fires or nothing."

"Don't do that you freak!" Hitsugaya stepped in the other chibi's way, arms crossed, frowning.

"Move ya fuckin' midget!"

"I'm as tall as you are damn it!"

"Move!"

"No! If you're going to pee go do it where we won't see!"

----------------

"We're out of wienies… Anyone want something to drink?"Iduru held up a bottle of water in one hand and a can of soda in the other. The little kid next to him held an energy drink as large as he was. Grinning evilly, Gin opened the can and started drinking it.

----------------

"Whoa! You need to lay off the caffeine for a while, taichou!"Renji swiped the over-sized can out of Byakuya's hands.

"You can't tell me what to do!"The chibi jumped trying get it back.

"Uh… Actually, yeah I can." He dangled the energy drink over the kid's head, trying to suppress a laugh.

"That's really mean!" Kuchiki crossed his arms and started pouting.

"Don't look at me like that! Look… You can have some of mine."Abarai opened the can, handing it to the little one.

Byakuya took one long swig and burped. Both laughing, he climbed into Renji's lap and handed the can-of-squirrelly-ness back.

-----------------

"Weeee!!!"Unohana-taichou flew by making it rain candy.

"Eeeep! Hide me!"Kuchiki-taichou squeaked as the sweet objects fell around him.

"Come on! Eat it! Eat it!"Yachiru bounced over, hands full of candy.

"Yes! Eat the candy!" Yoruichi and Kisuke ran over giggling.

"Not again!!!" He cried, pressing his face into Renji's chest, holding on for dear life.

-----------------


	11. Pathetic

"Who's bright idea was it to give the brats fuckin' energy drinks?"Grimmjow caught a twig that had been flying towards his face.

"Mine!!!"Gin announced happily, bouncing over to him.

The blue haired arrancar pointed at the blonde in charge of the cooler. Kira drooped his head and shoulders guiltily as the other man starting yelling.

"You're pathetic! How can you let that _thing_ tell you what to do?"

"I'm not a thing Grimmy, I'm Gin!"The kid continued to smile evilly as it made it's way towards him.

"I was only following orders."

"Following orders my ass!" Grimmjow and Ichigo said in unison.

"That's not fair to gang up on someone like that!" Hisagi stepped up to defend his friend.

Shuuhei placed an arm on the other man's shoulder and grinned. Feeling encouraged by the comforting arm placed upon his shoulder, the blonde sat up straight and glared across the fire at the other two.

-------------------

"Would you all just leave him alone?!"The red-haired rokuban-tai fukutaichou tried to shoo away the group of chibis.

"No!"

"What the Hell did he ever do to you?"

"Nothing, we're just tired of him making us look like idiots!"Shunsui, Urahara, and Yoruichi yelled.

"How's it his problem if you ARE idiots?!"Renji yelled, wrapping his arms around the little kid in his lap.

One by one they all started to smirk as they took slow, timed steps towards him.

"Oh shit! RUN!!!" Abarai scooped up Byakuya and made a dash for it.

"AFTER HIM!!!" Hitsugaya ran over, joining the group. Over the river and through the woods they went!

-------------------

"Mayuri-sama, would you like to go see what everyone else is doing?"Nemu stood and took a cautious step towards the insane Kurostuchi chibi.

"Damn straight I would like to!" The crazy little kid bolted for the partially destroyed door.


	12. Do Not Fear, For I Am Awesome

**_Author's Note: Yay! I've posted the 12th chapter! I must thank everyone for sticking with me so far! Arigatou gozaimasu! You have NO idea how much I appreciate it._**

* * *

Looking downward from his perch atop a tree branch, he watched the group of chibis run past. _I can probably jump down no- Oh Shit!_ The redhead fell, landing flat on his face in the bushes.

"Are you alright, Renji?"

"No…"

"Come on, get up! If you have the energy to talk and feel sorry for yourself, you must be alright!"

"That's not how it works."

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

He sat up, rubbing his throbbing head. His hand was struck with several rocks and sticks.

"Ow! What the fu-"

"ATTACK!"

Glomped by the little kids, he sat there bewildered. Yoruichi stole Renji's headband, tying it around Kisuke's eyes and handing him a stick, pointing him in the direction of the other two. Kyouraku and Hitsugaya held the squirming Kuchiki.

"Lemme go! LET ME GO!"

"I'm gonna kick your asses!"

"Nuh uh! No you're not!"

-------------

"Shut up! Would you, Shut up!"

All four of the men turned to look at the furious little Jyuushirou. His cheeks were all puffed up and his tiny fists clenched.

"I has a question!"

"Okay, we're listening…"

"Alright, first, has everyone heard the songs 'Hey Jimmy!' and 'Zetsubou Birry'?"

"I think you mean 'Zetsubou Billy'."

All four nodded their heads and began to usher the kid to get on with it.

"Okay, the question is… Does Jimmy know Billy? If so, does Billy know Tim? And does Tim know Bob?"

One by one, they looked at each other questionably, contemplating what Ukitake-taichou had said. Hisagi finally spoke up.

"Number one, that was more than one question and number two… Um… Who's bob?"

"Oh Bob was my cousin's imaginary boyfriend."

Ichigo and Grimmjow rolled their eyes while crossing their arms in front of their chests. Iduru looked around at everyone else before asking the other question on everyone's minds.

"W-Who's Tim?"

"Tim was one of the shinigami that was in Isshi's bantai when he was still a taichou."

"Who's Iss-?"

The teenager was cut off by the fire exploding.

"The great Isshin is here! Do not fear, for I am awesome!"

Everyone's jaw dropped in both surprise and horror as the chibi popped out of the fire. Kurosaki's trembling finger pointed at the smirking, dorky looking kid.

"Idiot father!"

-------------

"Yoruichi-sama! Yoruichi-sama!"

Soi Fong ran in circles, her arms in the air. Gin ran over to her, a large grin planted on his face.

"Calm down Soi! You're running around like a head with it's chicken cut off."

She stopped and stared at the smiling moron a meter away. A couple of people came into view, falling an angry kid.

"It's a chicken with it's head cut off you dumbass!"


	13. I Have NO Idea

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Kitsune is the Romanji for Fox or Fox-Spirit_**

**_(I wish not to start an arguement with anyone and thus I shall submit. Do Not Get Use To It.I certainly hope this settles any disagreements I happen to have with any of my readers. My sincere apologizes and I hope you will keep reading. Arigatou, I appreciate you putting up with my crap this long.)_**

**_If for some reason you want to know (because you for some reason didn't)_**

**_"Zetsubou Billy" is performed by MAXIMUM THE HORMONE_**

**_(It's also the second DEATH NOTE ending.)_**

**_"Hey Jimmy!" is performed by HAV_**

**_(It's also the first Peace Maker Kurogane ending.)_**

* * *

"Ohayo, Kuro-Kuro! You seem to be running around like a machete with a monkey!" 

Gin smiled as the angry Mayuri shook his fist at him.

"It's running around like a monkey with a machete! Stupid Kitsune!"

Kurotsuchi turned around and began yelling at the two who had just stopped behind him.

"You stupid slow bitches! Where the Hell are some good minions?! I need more minions!"

"Gomen ne, Mayuri-sama."

Akon felt something atop his head, reaching up, he pulled the child off and held him eye level. Ichimaru grinned and poked one of the horns on the man's forehead.

"What are these for? How did you get them?"

"It was- a terrible farming accident, now leave me alone."

He rolled his eyes as he handed the chibi to the woman next to him. Grunting, he stalked off looking for someone who had kept at least a small bit of their sanity.

"What's his problem?"

--------------

Miraculously, he had managed to poke everyone other than Byakuya. He'd jabbed Yoruichi in the side twice, poked Renji in the eye, and whacked the other to countless times over the head. Suddenly, he whipped the stick in Kuchiki's direction. Barely touching the other chibi's belly with the tip, he began tracing patterns on the tiny shihakushou.

"Meep! Stop! It tickles! Stop!"

Tears began to form in his eyes as he couldn't stop laughing. Wiggling around, he squealed and giggled, trying to escape the feather-light touch of the twig.

"Renji! Help! Teehee!"

--------------

"Wee!!!"

"Wait! Unohana-taichou!"

The whole of yonbantai came charging in, following their taichou and in the process… Running over Kenpachi.

"DAMMIT! GET BACK HERE! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASSES!"

The formerly squished juuichi-bantai taichou whipped out his mini zanpaku-tou and started chasing the group.

--------------

"Oi! Shuuhei-kun! What's happening over here?"

Akon came running over to the pondering group of confused shinigami and one arrancar.

"Nothing… We're trying to answer a confusing set of questions."

"Oh?"

"Does Jimmy from the song "Hey Jimmy!" know Billy from the song "Zetsubou Billy"? If so, does Billy know Tim? And does Tim know Bob?"

"Simple. If they're all imaginary then of course they know each other!"

"Apparently, Tim was real."

"Oh… Then I have no idea."

He began contemplating the meaning of the set of questions when he saw something… A little… Bizarre? Eyes widening, he pointed at it.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!"

Hisagi was got entirely off-guard. He wondered just what could have made him make such an outburst. Following the direction of the other's pointed finger, he saw nothing out of the ordinary for… Today.

"What?"

"THAT!"


End file.
